The Importance of Motherhood

I take motherhood seriously.

It is incredibly valuable and it is the start of my daughter's life experience I want her to have. 

Being a mom means you wear a lot of different hats. 

You are a mentor. You mentor them to dream, to not settle, to try a thousand times.

You are a student and a teacher. You teach them everything from manners to values to finances and health. You teach them the joy of learning. You keep your mind open to learn and through that example, they too learn that learning doesn't stop in school.

You are a leader. You lead your child through example. You lead them by doing it yourself first. You teach them how to treat people so they will listen.

You are a lover. You love wholeheartedly and you show how to love and care about others. You teach them how important it is to be about something bigger than themselves. You teach them about relationships and people. Some people come and go. You teach them how to be a good friend to others, a good life partner, and kind to yourself.

A teacher, a mentor, an influencer, a connector

You  teach them everything from ABCs to manners and social rules. You demonstrate, teach and influence their formative years that gets recorded in their subconscious mind. This is what runs our adult lives.

You are a connector. You demonstrate how to relate to others. You demonstrate respect, kindness and friendship.  You teach them about differences, similarities and variety. There are lots of people and lots of opinions. You create your own set of values and do what works best for you. 

You are perseverance. You don't quit. You show them relentless commitment to your goals. You illustrate grit. You fall and you rise. You teach them about focus and discipline by what you do as well. 

You are vulnerability. You show them it's the right thing to apologize by doing it yourself to them. You show tears and how to be sad. You show disappointment. You show brave and courage.  

You model passion and perserverance

You show them joy and passion by doing something you love. You show them trying different things and embracing the stages of learning something new. Mistakes, trial and error, must happen to become good at something. 

You are joy. You show them laughter. You show them how to keep a positive outlook on life. You show them the role of passion, hobbies and interests.

You are a healer. You show them some things you heal from and some you are working on. You show. You show the fall and rise of every situation. You teach them about forgiveness being an act of love for your happiness. 

You are growth. You show them how to handle problems with the right mindset. You show them to share, to compromise, to shrug somethings off and pursue others. You show them how to solve a problem and see it as a challenge to grow. 

You are balance. You show them how to buckle down and work for results. You show them how to hang back at times and enjoy the view of your progress. 

You are patience. You first apply that with you when too much has crept up on your plate. You exercise patience with yourself mixed in with compassion.You demonstrate the importance of sowing the right seeds to get the desired fruit. 

You are a believer. You show them how to believe in themselves by first believing in you. You illustrate with your past and how those days are of the past because life has taught you to never ever stop believing in yourself. Your stories give life to their dreams.

You Teach Them How to Be An Explorer 

You teach them how to explore and remain curious and find answers on their own. You teach them to play and be playful. To learn through different vantage points and ask questions.

You are courage. You show them how you handle that fear and how to do it anyway. You display courage and how taking action is important, even if ego tells you that you are not good enough. You model how to go through the tough times and create hope for what's ahead.

You are success. You teach them about defining success for themselves by defining it for yourself. You show them that success is not what society shows you necessarily. Each person decides success individually.  

You are authenticity. You teach them about be confident in themselves. You enjoy your quirks, your curves, your character. Don't change for others. You foster independence in your kids by carving out your own path.

You are a cheerleader. You are there to build their resistance from what they perceive as losses. You know the failed attempts must be in order to get what you want. It is part of succeeding at a chosen task.You celebrate their wins-everything from potty training to robotics competitions. 

.....and the list continues. 

Know that there's no such thing as being "just a mom".

I shudder each time I hear that from a mom. Eliminate the "just".

You are a mother. You mean the world to your child. You have so much to give. You give and give that at times you forget to take to balance. it out. Take moments of your day to stop and breathe. It doesn't matter if you are working at a job or working as a full-time at home mother. There's no "just". Throw it away. You are a mother. And a damn good one.

Take time to become a better woman everyday by loving yourself daily. You teach your child how to embrace life with love. None of us are perfect mothers and are all those things all the time.

Perfection doesn't exist so please stop the inner critic. Embrace progress, moving forward. It took me seven years of my daughter's life to finally stop criticizing myself for not having been better. I couldn't change the past but my present was going to be a bit better each day. A decade later, I have made a ton of changes and known all of them served a purpose of learning about myself.

My daughter has taught me hundreds of things and in retrospect, I wish I had picked up on it earlier. The regret wasn't going to stop me in becoming better today. That's where we get stuck....in our "I wish I had" stories. 

Do the best you can when you know better until you know better. When you know better, you do better ~ Maya Angelou

Whatever happened, let it go. Now you know better, do better. Live the best life as a woman, a mother, a sister, an aunt, a grandmother, a godmother, as a human being.

You show your children that being a mom is a lot of responsibility that you take it seriously. You ask for help because you deserve it. You seek out ways to full your cup so what runneth over is theirs. You do that in the spirit of love for motherhood and your child.

You deserve a life of love. Start with you. The self-love permeates into your interactions with your child in multiple ways. Your joy and compassion feeds their souls because you take time out to be present, to self-soothe and be kind to you. How you treat yourself is how you treat others.

Thank you for being the best mom you can be today. Keep going forward. Forget the past. No need for guilt over what you didn't do right. Look at what you have accomplished and focus on what you want to do today that moves you forward.

Each mindful moment you spend encouraging yourself to be your best self you can be that day is a day of success.

Trust me when I tell you, my daughter knows how much I respect her and adore her. That love started with loving and respecting myself. I didn't think very much of myself two decades ago but that has changed dramatically. One baby step at a time while enjoying the scenery, learning from the setbacks and never ever giving up. It didn't matter that I had tried to change a habit 100 times before, I was going to keep at it. I was going to get support, get accountability, get myself focused, prepare like it's the first time. I deserved the results and I wasn't going to quit on the promises to myself and my daughter.

From one mother to another, thank you for taking what you do and who you are seriously. Motherhood is an art form that takes practice. We are creative at how each of us expresses it in our own way.  Keep working on your masterpiece and please value the tremendous contribution you've made to your children.